Hey all. I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted. I’d almost given up on blogging; personal issues seem to eclipse anything I might want to blog about. However, I feel like I need to write something. This place is as good as any.

It’s a nightmare scenario. Every time there’s a hiatus, every time there’s a long period of time where you don’t see someone in SL, or any virtual world really. It’s the one thing you dare not allow yourself to consider. The very thought of it is almost too much to handle.

Last month, the unthinkable happened.

It’s taken us over a month to find out. We are lucky for it; too often, those of us involved in secret virtual lives never find out; the personalities we have come to love simply disappear. A million thanks to Martin for bringing us this unpleasant news.

I cannot say I was a close friend to Rheta; I knew her best for her writing. The World Philip Made, in particular, introducecd me to the idea of virtual personhood, which I found inspiring. However, I do count myself a close friend to her partner and lover, Thdast Schwarzman. I can only hope I’ve been as good a friend as she’s deserved this past hard month. This news has shaken me greatly, and I can only imagine how Thaddy must feel. Thaddy, if you read this, please know I am always here for you.

There is one story I would like to share. My one real in world experience with her, I don’t think it is something I shall ever forget.

I don’t know how many of you remember Veyron’s SL bloggers auction. In short, Veyron Supercharge thought it would be fun to get a number of SL bloggers to put themselves up for auction, essentially as submissives to the purchaser for a certain amount of time. A portion of the proceeds would go toward charity, the rest would go toward the blogger in question, although many chose to give a larger portion to charity. The event was a blast, and everyone involved had a great time.

I signed up almost last minute, and ended up going up fairly late in the auction. Despite this there was fairly vigorous bidding. I did my part to tart things up a bit, showing off my collection of “toys.”

In the end, Rheta won me, paying well over 5000L (I forget the exact amount, but for me it was a small fortune). By the terms of the auction, she had a right to use me as a submissive, for I think a grand total of 24 hours.

As it turns out, she really just wanted a chance to talk to me. She’d apparently wanted to approach me for some time, but stated that she’d been too shy to do so. And talk we did, finding lots of common ground in terms of personal experiences, even though her kinks were a little different than mine. In the end, I was happy to have a new friend.

This had another effect, however. I don’t generally get into real life issues here, so suffice it to say I’ve had many issues in regards to anxiety, self esteem, and depression. Add to that things weren’t going so well in my Second Life as well as my first. The thought of anyone being willing to spend that much money just for the chance to talk to me floored me. Few things have given me as much of a self esteem boost.

Goodbye, Rheta. Thank you so much.